Holy Freaking Crap

So, I quit my job, left Boston and moved to Metz, France (north-east near Germany and Luxembourg). Well, it wasn’t quite as simple as that but in a way, it was.

I had a going-away brunch with work, a birthday party in NYC, a going-away party in Southie with 40+ friends and families, a day trip to Portland, ME and a Chinese food party to watch the Pats with my closest friends all before I left. I truly felt special and loved.

I sold and gave away most possessions, packed 3 bags and a backpack with only 10 pairs of shoes and some winter clothes.

My 2 cats were also supposed to come. To export a pet isn’t totally hard but it is costly and timely. They are required to be microchipped prior (which they were when I got them from the shelter), get rabies shot 21 days before entering the country and get a health clearance form from USDA vet that the paperwork has to be overnight shipped and endorsed by APHIS, no more than 10 days before entering the country. Unfortunately, I never received the endorsement papers because the vet accidentally put the date of the microchip to the date I got the health certificate and I didn’t find this out until the day I was going to fly. I was fortunate enough to have my dad accept them in his home but it breaks my heart that they aren’t with me.

Now I live in France, without a car and Julien is at work. I can’t speak the language, I went for a run and got lost because I don’t have cellphone service yet. But it’s all good. It’s a new, exciting, adventure and I would never progress in life if I let fear rule me.

I had a dream last night, or maybe a hallucination due to jet lag, but I was looking up to bare trees and the seasons and weather kept changing but each was related to the emotions I’ve been feeling since I knew I would move. It went something like this:

Winter

Dreary, Sad, Fearful, Anxious

Who in their right mind would leave “home”? What if I don’t learn to speak French?   Where will I get a pizza after 8pm? When will I go “home” again? Why leave a good thing in Boston? How will I make money?

Spring

Optimism, Growth, Potential

Who is responsible for self-empowerment? What is so wrong with being happy? Where else can I visit? Why wouldn’t I believe in love? How come I didn’t think of doing this sooner?

Summer

Promise, Enthusiasm, Acceptance

Who else can I inspire? What is my self-fulfilling purpose? Where will my next adventure take me? Why was I afraid? How will I push myself next?

Fall

Closure, Peaceful, Calm

Who can I help next? What an experience?! Where will our next home be? Why isn’t everyone chasing their dreams? How is it possible I once treasured objects more than people or memories?

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